Crossover

I have always loved crossover episodes in TV series. You know the ones which had characters from two or more different shows in one episode.

Like when David Brent and Michael Scott bumped into each other.

I like those episodes. It is like two universes colliding with each other. It is something so strange, weird; yet so much trippy. Remember when two separate power ranger forces united against a common enemy?

I feel like I myself was in character all the time. All my life. It is always told to us, right, that ‘be yourself’. Be honest. Don’t be someone else.

Well, what if ‘being some character’ is the essence of ‘being myself’? I feel like I played a role in multiple series in my life. Somewhere a role of a smart guy. Somewhere a role of a crazy, weird guy. A role of a villain many a times. Hence, I never let there be a crossover very often in my life. Because if my ‘co-stars’ from two different series are in a single ‘episode’, which of the two roles do I play?

I have don e so many roles, I no longer know when I am supposed to be out of character. And I am not sure if I want to. Needless to say, I don’t know how to, even if I wanted to.

I guess everyone plays some role at some point. But maybe most times they are ‘themselves’.

Now the question arises; when they are not ‘themselves’, are they playing a role? Or is ‘sometimes not being themselves’ actually a part of them being themselves? Then a further question comes to mind; can a person ever be anything but him/herself?

I do not know how to make this distinction. When are we ourselves and when are we not? I guess personalities and behavior patterns of people change, and with this constant process of evolving there are milestones in between which suggest a considerably stable and solid state of things, a (more-or-less) well defined set of behavioral patterns; a personality. These patterns may be barged upon or may be arrived at by some form of rational logic. Regardless, they define a ‘person’, and I would guess when the person adheres to these patterns, they are being themselves. And when the person behaves in a way not even close to the patterns, they are playing a role. Over time, either role patterns get ingrained and become a part of the person’s ‘being themselves’ patterns (i.e., the next milestone) or the person assumes another role.

For me, whole life feels like a role. And instead of ‘me’ evolving, it feels like the role is evolving. As if I am playing a very long movie. The one milestone I got in 2019, it was a huge character development. It was the biggest coma, it feels like, that my character went through.

Hence, I don’t not know how I would feel if there was a crossover episode with everyone I know present there. I would have to be too many things at once to be any single one in particular.

I guess the better thing to do would be: that I start playing a new movie where I play just one character for the rest of my life: myself.