The (Satur)day that never comes

I think everyone has one corner in their rooms which brings down the tidiness of rest of the room by couple of notches. Clothes just thrown, books lying around, maybe an empty cigarette packet serving as a bookmark on a gigantic book.

Well, the corner in my room is few steps ahead of these things. So I have a big cardboard box with all my books, notes, files, etc. inside. The box is covered by a ex-curtain of my rooms window, and if you are middle class you would’ve guessed it, I use the top of the box as kind of a mini table.

I’ve been reading more on my phone these days, and not really touching my books. So the box has been lying around. Its been a year since I first had thought of organizing it, on the ‘coming’ saturday. And its still there like that.

Once after I took a shower and had one of those post-shower I’m-gonna-fix-my-life rush, I started clearing the books. I opened the box, and a rat baby legit jumped off the bottom. I closed the box, put on the cover and just ran away. You should know I am a very mellow and weak person.

This must be like couple months back. Since then I legit haven’t touched that corner. Ok; well not ever, I dust it off with the broom every now and again, but I’m so soft while dusting it, the broom must be sweeping off like the top 100 molecules.

And you know what, there’s been many saturdays, but I don’t even feel like clearing it now! Its just there. Who is it harming? Who is it causing any pain? Like, if I just dust off the surface, and sweep around it, isn’t it fine?

Having said all this, I now know for sure, I’m gonna have to move and clear it once I have to leave home after my second COVID dose. It becomes a necessity at that point.

That’s the thing; we do things in life out of necessity. Necessity fuels the motivation to get up and do something. Since I right now don’t find it necessary to clear up my corner, I don’t have motivation to do it. Of course, it doesn’t fit into any obvious definitions of tidiness, but its not very gross too; it might be like slipping barely into the area of the word ‘gross’.

Now, obviously, ideally I should clear up the corner as soon as possible and not delay it. It’s not hygenic. Its untidy, its not neat. But I just can’t push myself to do it.

I have utmost respect for people who do things in life that are not obviously necessary. Like things which are not necessary in that moment, or for that time period, but which need to be done. I don’t think I’ve ever pushed myself to do anything; everything just feel in place when I did things that were necessary.

Pushing to do things when its not immediately necessary, or in fact, identifying and defining what is necessary in life is just a great skill to have. If you become one, if you absolutely convince yourself of the things which are necessary in life, and why they are necessary, I think you would not need to push yourself too much to do them. Even if you have to push yourself, you will have a clear well-defined reason to do so. It won’t be a ‘push against your will’, it will actually be a ‘push against the resting-state of your body’.

So, will the saturday ever come when I finally clear up the corner? Follow me on Medium to find out! (Or not, cause I don’t know if I would be able to push myself to write an update on this post)

Cheers!

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Abhilash KP

Extremely online. I love writing; Poems, Articles. First I spend a lot of time deep in thought, then I spend a lot of time regretting the deep thoughts.